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Monday, April 28, 2008

Wedding Advice From Friends, Well Intentioned or Not?

Brides are bombarded with wedding advice from
everywhere and everyone. The net is full of
advice, bridal magazines offer advice, bridal shows,
and wedding professionals (moi included). This advice
is the kind you can tuck away for the future or
totally ignore.

Your family and friends are full of advice. This advice
is right in your face, so how do you deal with it?
Its hard to ignore someone who's telling you what
you SHOULD do when they are in your face.
Question: How do you draw the line from well
meaning advice
to total annoyance?

What you hear: My wedding...blah, blah, blah.
I did it this way and you should do this..blah, blah.

What you may think they are saying:
My wedding is better than yours will ever be.

What they are really saying: I want to talk
all about my wedding so I can relive it again
and again. I want the spotlight on me.

So, what should you do? Smile, take the advice
with a grain of salt and let it go. There is no
reason to get upset, they may be very well
intentioned and they may really want to help.
They may actually have hit upon an idea that
is worth checking out. Or not.

When it gets to the point of annoyance,
say to them nicely " I haven't firmed up
that area yet and I'll take your suggestion
under consideration." And then change the
subject.

When Mom says " We did it this way" and
"I want it done this way", its time to let her know
that times have changed since her wedding. Things
are done differently, she's had her wedding. Tell her
that you've always dreamed of doing it another way and
would she please spend some time with you going over
your wedding plans?

Some Mom's wont let it go. If that's the case, have someone
she trusts talk to her about the wedding plans. It could
be Dad, . her best friend or it could be the consultant at
the bridal salon.

You are not under obligation to do things
THEIR way. You don't have to take their advice,
patronize their wedding vendors or use their advice.
Ultimately, this is YOUR wedding, and you get
to have your wedding, your way! Their wedding is history,
yours is now. Happy planning!

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